Friday, 13 June 2014

Klein and the Smoking Man, Part 2

A Doctor Who/ X-Files crossover


Klein awoke to the smell of cigarettes. This was unusual as she had given up smoking nearly ten years ago.

"Good morning, Dr Klein," came a male voice, smooth and precise, with the faintest hint of an Irish lilt.

The cigarette smoking man. She remembered. She had returned to the hotel with this shadowy man from the US government. They had drank and drank at the bar, before going back to her hotel room.

What kind of woman went to bed with a man whose name she did not even know? At least she was in a foreign country and far from home. Nobody was going to know about this.

She looked at the man she had carelessly made love to, his craggy, weathered face, with its sharply defined cheekbones. The sharp lines of his aging features betrayed the depth of his harrowing experiences.

Most of the men her age were fat and ungainly, one of the reasons it was such a long time since she had taken a lover. Not so the smoking man. His naked chest revealed a slim slender form, broken only by firm and tight muscle. It was a body kept in check by iron discipline. She supposed he was an ex-military man who had never abandoned the rigours of his youthful training.

The man breathed deeply on his cigarette and gazed at Klein. His expression was inscrutable, his half-smile neither cruel nor kind. His beady-eyed stare suggested friendly attention, but might just as easily have been mocking amusement.

"This is actually a non-smoking room," Klein pointed out.

The man lowered his cigarette and shrugged.

"Does it matter? You smoked plenty yourself last night," he replied.

"Yes, I vaguely remember that I did," admitted Klein. "Hang it all. Pass me another one."

The man smiled and passed his packet of Morleys and his lighter.

Klein lit the cigarette and drew deeply. She was well aware of the health risks, but a situation like this called for cigarettes. Saving the world from Zygons or Quarks was one thing, but waking up in bed with a nameless killer from a secret branch of the US government was quite another.

"This is a plain hotel, Dr Klein. I would have thought the United Nations expenses would have stretched a little higher," commented the man.

"Perhaps for the World Health Organisation. Blowing up Daleks and Cybermen with bazookas is an expensive business. It doesen't leave much room for plush hotel stays," Klein answered.

"I thoroughly approve, Dr. Klein. I always stay in modest hotels myself. There is only so much you can get out of a black budget. Besides, great power requires responsibility. Those of us who work in secret and outside the law must be honest and above reproach. I come down sharply on associates who use their power to their own benefit," he said.

"It's always about big secrets, Earth-shaking plans, the destiny of humanity and sinister threats with you, isn't it?"

"Of course. What else? Though I do have my distractions. I like to write fiction in my minimal spare time and occasionally watch a game of baseball. And on very rare occasions, I enjoy the company of an attractive woman such as yourself, Dr Klein," said the man.

A life utterly consumed by secrets and the shadowy wars of the heavens. So much like her own.

Most of the men Klein had fallen for in the past were ordinary men doing ordinary jobs, men who could distract her from the cold and terrifying realities of her professional life. Why had she allowed this man, with all her own baggage and complexities into her life?

A Machiavellian schemer. Delighting in secrecy, lies and devilish plans. A man who was happy to manipulate and dupe others.

A man just like the Doctor. Admittedly, the smoking man was a good deal handsomer, as well as taller than the Doctor. And rather more ready to get into bed with her.

Could she never get away from thinking about the wretched Umbrella Man? Was that infernal schemer even warping her love life? Damn you, Doctor, she silently cursed.

"It's time to get dressed, Mr Smoker," said Klein. "I didn't come to this country just to fool around in a hotel room. You were going to show me some of your facilities."

"Naturally, Dr. Klein. A car awaits. But on the way, perhaps you can tell me a little about Cybermen. We have a project that might make use of some of their technical properties," said the man.

"Gladly," replied Klein. There were times when the thought of being an emotionless sexless Cyberwoman seemed so much simpler.

Thursday, 5 June 2014

The Enemy of the World (the real thing this time)




I reviewed the audio version of this ages ago, but having watched the rediscovered episodes, I had to review it again.

If any story in Season 5 deserved to be rediscovered it was The Enemy of the World. Season 5 is popular with many fans, but I find the run of bases-under siege a bit tedious, even if Fury of the Deep has an interesting monster. Enemy of the World is different; a story with no monsters, that is driven by human drama, interesting characters and surprisingly effective James Bond visuals. It feels such a refreshing break within thsi most predictable season.

The Enemy of the World succeeds because it is a story driven by character. It is about a corrupt dangereous world of the near future and about the people that inhabit that world. We have such a fantastic cast of characters; the abused but dignified Fariah, the sincere but doomed Dennes, the cynical Australian chef Griff, the self-serving Kent and of course, the brash megalomaniac Salamander. Griff contributes absolutely nothing to the plot, yet in him we see how a person in a terrifying and brutal environment can survive through humour. Likewise, the moment when Dennes jokes about it being a long time since his food was cut up for him shows such basic human dignity in the face of certain death.

Troughton's Mexican accent is a bit odd, but his portrayal of two roles is simply amazing. Particularly delightful is the way he plays the Doctor impersonating Salamander and he manages to make the impersonation distinct from the real Salamander.

Before the rediscovery of these episodes, there was always an uncertainty as to whether the visual elements of this story really lived up to their grandiose aspirations. The answer turned out to be that they did. For a Doctor Who story, this is remarkably visually impressive with the helicopter and hovercraft scenes. This is a clear tribute to the strength of Barry Letts' direction. Even in the later episodes, where things get more obviously studio bound, we get a great shot of the lift shaft to Salamander's lair.

If the story has a significant flaw, I would say it is the way things shift once Salamander's game is revealed. Once we move away from the corrupt backstabbing of Salamder's court and into his underground den, we enter more generic Doctor Who territory. It feels uncomfortably like Invasion of the Dinosaurs.

Jack Graham over on Shabogan Graffiti offers some good comments on the complex racial politics of this story. While it is great to have a black actress playing a significant role in a Sixties Doctor Who story, the fact she plays a standard racial role as a slave is problematic. Even worse, it is implied that she did something wrong and it is her fault she is a slave. Any critique of racism is rather muted by the fact that she is enslaved by a Mexican, rather than by a European white man (Troughton bronzing-up is problematic in itself). Of course, it might be assumed, with Troughton's European features, that Salamander is a Mexican of primarily European descent. There are lighter-skinned Mexicans and no doubt some of them are racist toward black Mexicans of African descent. I am reminded of the X-Files episode El Mundo Gira, in which we meet an immigration police agent who assists Mulder and Scully. His accent and cultural outlook indicate he is of Mexican, or at least Latin American origin, though his fair skin indicates European descent. He posesses a status and privilege that contrasts massively with the darker-skinned Mexican illegals that we meet in the episode and he displays to them an attitude of racist contempt.


The recovery of this story was truly a delight for Doctor Who fans in the 50th anniversary year.





cryptonaut-in-exile: The Web of Fear - "[I]s it safe?" "Oh, I shouldn't...

cryptonaut-in-exile: The Web of Fear - "[I]s it safe?" "Oh, I shouldn't...:

Great review from Cdog Zilla

Tuesday, 27 May 2014

Great Comment on the Doctor's Proper Name

An anonymous commenter made a great comment on my post '12 Reasons he really is called Doctor Who:'


The other silly thing is that just because he is often referred to as "the Doctor" doesn't mean that his name isn't 'Doctor Who'.

Take the Brigadier. His name is Lethbridge-Stewart. He is referred to as Brigadier-Lethbridge-Stewart and also as just "The Brigadier". However, while the Doctor, Jo, Benton, Yates, Sarah etc. call him "The Brigadier", that is NOT his name. That is what he is. His name is Lethbridge-Stewart.

Likewise, 'The Doctor' is equivalent to 'The Brigadier', and 'Doctor Who' is equivalent to 'Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart'.

Tuesday, 22 April 2014

Shabogan Graffiti: Unredeemed

Shabogan Graffiti: Unredeemed: Spoilers for Game of Thrones ... if the writers haven't already spoiled it enough.   Aside from being just horribly and needlessly m...

On why Game of Thrones is getting more and more horrible.

Monday, 21 April 2014

Philip Sandifer: Writer: The Pleasure of Smelling a Flower (Vincent and the...

Philip Sandifer: Writer: The Pleasure of Smelling a Flower (Vincent and the...: This is just showing off, really. It’s June 5 th , 2010. Dizzee Rascal is at number one with “Dirtee Disco,” with Iyaz, Eminem, N-Dubz,...

Phil Sandifer offers a critique of a story produced under Moffat. Well I'm impressed.

Tuesday, 15 April 2014

Yet Another Klein Fanart




I asked Inspector97 to draw Elizabeth Klein, UNIT scientific advisor from the Big Finish audios. A slightly cuter Klein.

Sunday, 13 April 2014

TARDIS Eruditorum Vol.4 : Tom Baker and the Hinchcliffe Years, by Philip Sandifer



Phil Sandifer will never know just how much joy each new volume of his TARDIS Eruditorum brings me, even if I have already read most of the essays on his blog. I often disagree with him, but he never fails to bring fresh insights into the show.

I would suggest part of what made the previous volume on the Third Doctor so strong was Sandifer's personal dislike for much of that era. His strongly critical position helped to give him an objectivity towards the material. This seems to be sorely lacking in the fourth volume. Sandifer, like so many Doctor Who fans, loves the Hinchcliffe era and regards it as the high point of the show. I got the impression that he was actually surprised on his blog when those of us who are more critical of the Hinchliffe stuff came out of the woodwork in the comments section. Sandifer manages to criticise some of the serials and I daresay he upset some of those who love Talons of Weng-Chiang and try to excuse its racism. Yet on the whole he tends to praise most of the story as much as he can justify while still addressing some of their more problematic elements. I therefore found this volume perhaps a little less interesting than the three previous volumes that had been rather more nuanced in their analysis.


The Fourth Doctor era of course begins with a Barry Letts, not a Hinchliffe story. Sandifer sees two important aspects to Robot; the establishment of UNIT as superflous and unnecessary and the establishment of 'cleverness' as being central to the new Doctor's character. He argues that the Fourth Doctor is particularly endearing to geeks who see 'cleverness' as their own defining value.

As is typical of fans, Sandifer celebrates Ark in Space as one of the high points of the show. He sees this story as introducing a new tendency to disturb and frighten. He offers some discussion about the nature of scariness in Doctor Who. Personally, I have never quite understood why so many fans hail Ark in Space as a classic. It's a good story, but I always feel it is a little overrated. Likewise, he showers praise upon that eternal favorite Genesis of the Daleks. He makes the interesting claim that this story introduces postmodernity to Doctor Who, arguing that this story destabilizes a central concept of Doctor Who, namely the Daleks. He takes the view that Dalek history was altered by this story, a concept that I regard as anathema, as one who confesses one absolute unchanging Doctor Who continuity. He does offer, an interesting explanation for how Dalek history is altered. He proposes that the effect of Genesis was for Davros to be killed earlier than in the original history, resulting in the Daleks becoming weaker in his absence and later needing to resurrect him.

You can always rely on Sandifer to come up with an interesting redemptive reading. I'm not sure that 'redemptive reading' accurately describes his take on Revenge of the Cybermen. He persuasively argues that the main purpose of this story is to show that bringing back the Cybermen is a rubbish idea, thus justifying the lack of 'returning monster' stories in the next season. Revenge proves to the viewers the need for Doctor Who to move on.

I have never watched Terry Nation's Survivors. Having read Sandifer's 'Pop Between Realities' essay I don't ever want to. It really does sound like an awful program. Having read this essay, I would be curious to get his thoughts on Wyndham's Day of the Triffids.

He makes some interesting comments about the similarity of Terror of the Zygons to the Pertwee era. Planet of Evil will never be on anybody's list of classics, but Sandifer does come up with some fascinating ideas about that story. He talks about the collision in this story of two incompatible universes and the Lovecraftian sense of the alieness of the antimatter universe. He suggests that while the production might not be altogether convincing in realizing this, it still has an impact. In discussing the novel Managra, he says a little more about postmodernity. He argues that while the Doctor Who of Graham Williams was more playful and self-aware, the Hinchcliffe era was when Doctor Who became postmodern.

In his essay on Pyramids of Mars, he acknowledges a segment of fandom that is less impressed by Seasons 12-14, singling out Pyramids of Mars as the story that is up for debate. This is probably correct; plenty of fans of Hinchcliffe-Who admit there are problems with Genesis of the Daleks, but disliking Pyramids indicates a dissatisfaction with this era. He offers a defense of Pyramids (while characteristically and rightly acknowledging the racial stereotyping in it). I personally don't feel that he engages with all the problems with this story. He makes the interesting suggestion that Pyramids comes into two categories of imperfect story, those which are flawed but innovative and those which are unoriginal but well executed.

Thankfully, Sandifer makes no attempt to defend the unwatcheable Android Invasion. Unsurprisingly, he celebrates the brilliance of The Brain of Morbius. He links this brilliance to the theme of alchemy, which he has often identified as a long-running theme in Doctor Who. It is in dealing with Seeds of Doom that he adopts a more critical stance. It is this story he suggests, that comes closest to the violent sensationalist show that Mary Whitehouse thought Doctor Who to be. I am glad he acknowledges this as a problem with Seeds of Doom, however, I do think this is a wider problem with Hinchcliffe-Who. I feel very uncomfortable with the delight that these stories seem to show in portraying painful, agonising deaths. There is something very morbid about the way so many characters are killed off horribly. Sandifer seems to feel that this is better than the way so many UNIT soldiers and yokels are killed off left right and centre in Pertwee stories, but personally I dislike both. I tend to value stories that have lower body counts altogether, such as Three Doctors or Androids of Tara.

My childhood memory of listening to Doctor Who and the Pescatons is very fond. Sandifer is unimpressed by this early audio and I suspect I might not be if I listened to it today. He discusses the nostalgia aspects of this release and praises Baker's performance in Pescatons. Coming back to the televised stories, he addresses the subject of hard Sci-Fi and materialism in Masque of Mandragora. He follows this with an essay on the complexities of TARDIS translation. I have always been a bit uncomfortable with the idea of the TARDIS doing the work of translation; this just does not seem to be how it works in the Classic Series. Coming to Hand of Fear, Sandifer contrasts this story with Claws of Axos, showing how that serial was more effective. That makes me happy, as I rather like Claws of Axos. On Sarah's departure, he comes back to the 'Problem of Susan' that he sees as having been a problem for the show from the beginning. Unsurprisingly given its significance, the Deadly Assassin essay is rather long. He offers some complex thoughts about narrative collapse and conspiracy theories before addressing the issue of continuity and how this story relates to previous depictions of the Time Lords. While he is not somebody who obsesses over continuity, he defends Deadly Assassin from the charge of rebelling against past continuity. Moving on to Face of Evil, Sandifer talks about Cargo Cults, on Robots of Death he analyses the handling of Leela's character.

Sandifer deserves a lot of respect for his criticisms of The Talons of Weng-Chiang. Unlike me, he is somebody who has a genuine liking for that story, yet he is ready to call it out for its shocking racism. He has taken a lot of flak from fans over this and has been accused of being 'politically correct.' Politically correct or not, he is somebody who is willing to confront racism whenever it manifests itself and I admire that. He also rightly attacks the turning of Leela into an Eliza Doolittle figure. He sees the underlying fault of the story as a cynicism and a desire to amuse and entertain without offering any kind of political or social critique.

The part of the book that really bothers me is the essay on Mary Whitehouse. For Sandifer, Mary Whitehouse is the Great Satan, the destroyer of Doctor Who. He portrays her as part-Darth Vader, part-pantomime villain. He even describes her as a 'crazy woman.' I thought that was ableist language that we were not supposed to use. Where are those nice ladies at STFU Moffat when you need them? Even if we allow him to get away with calling somebody mentally ill as an insult, isn't it a bit nasty to caricature people whose views we disagree with? I found the whole chapter really unpleasant reading.

Sandifer is probably right that Mary Whitehouse had a poor grasp of what makes great television, but we are not all natural media critics. Whitehouse did change her mind sometimes. She initially criticised the children's game show Knightmare, then changed her mind after she watched the program and decided it was alright. Yes, she sometimes went too far. I am sure most people laughed their heads off when she called for the movie Four Weddings and a Funeral to be banned. Yet she evoked genuine sympathy and concern in the nation over television standards. I would suggest that with the appalling levels of violence and sexual immorality in television, she has been vindicated. I am very glad that I am not a licence fee payer and don't have to fund some of the filthy and wicked programs that the BBC puts out these days. Obviously, as a Doctor Who fan I would want to defend my favorite show from her criticisms, but I can't be the only one who felt the drowning scene in Deadly Assassin was excessive.

If accusing Mary Whitehouse of having been mentally ill and calling her an 'idiot' were not bad enough, Sandifer actually goes further and compares her to a bully he encountered in school. I just found this so unpleasant. He does seem to have an uncomfortable tendency to project his anger about personal circumstances on to political and social issues. I have never met the man. Perhaps he is a really delightful chap, but sometimes his writing does give one the impression that he can be quite an angry and bitter person.

In his concluding essay, Sandifer argues that the Hinchcliffe era was great because of the combination of Tom Baker who makes everything fun and safe, and the script writing of Robert Holmes who brings in terrible and scary things. It gives us the chance to enjoy being scared. This is true, but I think it is also legitimate to feel this era was a little too dark and excessively violent. Hinchcliffe had three seasons and I think that was enough.


As ever, Dr. Phil Sandifer has many fascinating insights and things to say about the show we love. I'm really looking forward to the next volume. I just wish he hadn't included such a sour essay on Mary Whitehouse.


Friday, 14 February 2014

Elizabeth Klein smokes a cigarette



I asked Jennie Cole to draw Elizabeth Klein smoking a cigarette. You don't often see Doctor Who characters smoking, so I thought it would make for a nice picture.

I know Klein's eyes are the wrong colour here, but otherwise it's a good picture.

Friday, 7 February 2014

Steve Lyons was not consulted about Klein



Starburst: Interview with Steve Lyons

Steve Lyons said in this interview:

Klein is different, she is very much my creation and I’m not really sure yet how I feel about her going her own way without me. On the one hand, it’s flattering that one of my characters has been picked up by other writers and her story continued. But then, I hear about major changes being made to Klein’s background, without my being involved or consulted, and that just feels wrong. I haven’t heard the latest Klein stories yet, I probably should.

This does not surprise me at all. The new Klein trilogy put out by Big Finish really messed up Klein's backstory and clashes massively with information in Colditz. I feel sorry for Lyons that his character has been treated this way, but on the other hand I feel relieved that such a great writer had nothing to do with it.