Death to all Androgums!, by Matthew Clarke (fan fiction)

I have not yet seen any fan fiction featuring John and Gillian, so I had to write a piece myself. I also thought The Two Doctors fitted in well with the TV Comic ethos.

The remains of the Androgum colony was a smoking mess. Not a building was left standing and there was a lingering smell of charred flesh in the air. Some of the burned bodies of Androgums were visible. The Doctor's plan had worked perfectly. He had tricked the Ice Warriors into detonating their payload of thermotonic missiles, thus destroying themselves and their Androgum allies. It was the sort of sneaky plan that Dr. Who always enjoyed, especially when they involved big explosions. He skipped down the hill to view the carnage of the ruined Androgum settlement, his two grandchildren following.

'Brilliant, Grandfather,' cheered John. 'You wiped both factions off the face of this planet. Those Ice Warriors and Androgums won't be conquering any more planets in this part of the galaxy again.' Dr. Who gave a little chuckle and began to play 'London's Burning' on his brightly coloured recorder.

Gillian was not so cheerful. She felt quite disturbed by the carnage in the valley. 'I know this is the sort of thing we do to monsters and they were planning to conquer Zowleia, but was this really the only way, Grandfather? Those Androgums seemed so much like humans. Some of them almost seemed a little funny.'

The Doctor frowned. 'My dear Gillian, you were very lucky we managed to escape before you and your brother got eaten in their filthy ovens. They certainly would have done if the Ice Warriors had not been around to keep those pompous brutes in line. They will kill and eat any flesh they see and that goes for human flesh too.'

'But surely, Grandfather, there are humans who are cannibals. Can't they learn to be civilized?' said Gillian.

'I'm afraid my dear, that's simply not in their nature. It would be like trying to teach a leech not to suck blood or an Aardvark not to eat ants. It's not in their nature. It simply can't be done. They are vile beings. They live only to consume and unless they are kept in check, they will turn the whole cosmos into one big slaughterhouse.'

John chipped in 'From the way you talk about them, Grandfather, it sounds almost as though you hate the Androgums even more than you hate the Daleks.'

'It's not a matter of hate, John. It's matter of responsibility. We travel in time and space. That is a great privilege. We can have a lot of fun, but we have a job to do. This universe is a dark and scary place. In the dark corners, things have been bred that are terrible and twisted. These things are against everything we believe in. We have to fight those things. We have to destroy these monsters, even if that means destroying entire worlds if necessary.'

It was one of those moments, thought Gillian. Her grandfather had become a very different man since he had changed. He had none of the sternness or bad temper of his old self. Most of the time he acted like a mischievous clown, yet just once in a while, he would become serious and his eyes would gleam with a hidden anger. When he was in those moods, she found him rather scary, even more so than when his previous self had flown into a rage.

'It just seems so much easier to fight against Daleks and Trods,' said Gillian. 'You can tell they are monsters, but when they look so much like us, it is a lot harder.'

'You have to remember, Gillian, that all of us have the potential to become monsters. That is, when we stop caring about the things that matter. If all you ever think about is your stomach, you forget about your family, about the people around you and even your own health,' replied the Doctor. 'If you carry on like that, it can become too late and you forget about who you really are. As a race, the Androgums have become entangled with the love of killing and eating and they think of nothing else. There is no way of changing that. The problem is that so many don't realise that, mostly because they share something of the same faults. People know that Daleks live only to kill and destroy and nobody would think of keeping Daleks as servants. Yet on many worlds, the Androgums are used as servants. As long as that continues there is always the danger that these awful things will one day get the better of them.'

Gillian knew how deeply her grandfather cared about fighting monsters. She and her brother had shared in this struggle since their first encounter with the Kleptons. Now that he had changed into this strange, younger man he had become even more obsessed with destroying monsters. He had even, on occasions, taken to carrying around a ray gun. It scared her. It was as though her grandfather had decided to become an avenging angel, a bringer of darkness. The only thing she wanted now was to be away from these hellish ruins.

'Can we go now, Grandfather,' she pleaded. 'Can we go somewhere peaceful this time?'

'Yes, I suppose we should,' Dr. Who agreed. 'I think we all deserve a bit of an holiday. Perhaps we could go to the Eye of Orion. I think you'd like it there. I find it a bit dull myself, but we have probably had enough excitement recently. Some say it's the most tranquil place in the universe.' With that, he returned to playing 'London's Burning' and they all headed back to the TARDIS.